PARAPROSDOKIAN

 Before I get in to this let me mention that Karen 

is having a giveaway of a new nature book

on how birds design and build their nests.

Check  it out and be sure to mention that I sent

you.  She has a wonderful blog.

Found this on a friends blog.  Had to look up

"paraprosdokian" since this word was new

to me.  Here is the definition:  

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a 

sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; 

frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where 

there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of

paraprosdokian.

Thought you might enjoy a giggle or two today. 

Enjoy!

 

  

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down 

to his level and beat you with experience.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still 

on my list.

   3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some 

people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how

to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who 

is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. 

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good 

Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. 

To steal from many is research.

    10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train 

station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a 

work station.

    11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just 

wanted paychecks.

    12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part 

that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 

'DOCTOR.'

    13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was 

blaming you.

    14. Women will never be equal to men until they 

can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer 

gut, and still think they are sexy.

    15. Behind every successful man is his woman. 

Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another 

woman.

    16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

    17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't 

work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for 

forgiveness.

   18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You 

only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes 

misery easier to live with.

    20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding 

someone down so they can't get away.

    21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
 
    22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
    23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and 

call whatever you hit the target.

    24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
    25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending 

machine.
 
    26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian

any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to 

hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

    28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home 

even when you wish they were.

     29. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember 

that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Words of Wisdom

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second 
mouse gets the cheese." 

Thanks for stopping by.  Hope you enjoyed these

as much as I did. 

Nola